NYE: Hole Up, Giggle, and Cuddle with Your Kids

A blogger that I follow posted a link to an article about the babysitter wars. Click to read it or trust my synopsis: babysitters expect to get paid more on New Year's Eve - sometimes twice their usual rate - and people actually poach sitters from friends or pick up random sitters at the mall. The piece goes on to offer helpful hints for procuring sitters for new years, including sharing a sitter, hosting the party at your house, or just resigning yourself to paying through the nose. Really?!?

Okay, I'm on my soapbox here. But I have a suggestion.

If you are a parent, seriously consider 

spending New Year's Eve with who should be 

the most important people to you. 

Your spouse. And your kids. 

New Year's Eve is a celebration of the year that's passed - all the challenges and triumphs; it's a time to reflect. Midnight is the beginning of a new year, a fresh start. Why would you spend that away from your family? I like drinking wine and noshing on appetizers with my friends as much as anyone else, but that can happen on any of the other 364 nights of the year. That can happen on my birthday, my husband's birthday, our friends' birthdays. Heck, I don't even need a reason to meet a friend for a drink or eats. But, for me, ringing in the new year is something intimate. It's a time to hole up, giggle, cuddle, and remember why you start and end each day with these people. They're yours.

Click here for what we did last year. Family fun-shenanigans with some traditions from around the world.

This year, we'll be listening to some taiko drums downtown in the afternoon, dining at a favorite restaurant, heading home for some internationally-inspired New Year's desserts, playing board games, toasting with bubbles, and smooching as the clock strikes twelve.

This was our toast from last year. We all made it to midnight. We'll be there again in a few days. Same couch. Same time.

The Blog Dare: I Urge You to...

"I Urge You to..." so reads the Blog Dare writing prompt for today, Wednesday, December 26th. Never having participated in this venture before, I'm not even sure that I'm doing this correctly. But I really like these seeds of inspiration and decided to give it a whirl today.

I urge you to...handwrite your thank you notes this year.

Why? For me, there are a few reasons.

(1) Because I force my kids to do it. They may pace themselves (3 per day or 4 per day) until they get them all written, but they do it. I should lead by example, right? Yes.

(2) Because eThanks get buried in a glut of post-holiday sale emails. Do you get emails from every vendor you've ever ordered from, reminding you of the great sales they have going this week? I sure do - from Office Depot to Lands End. It's far too easy to accidentally select and delete an actual email that you want to read at this time of year. Whoops.

(3) Because there's something wonderful about a piece of paper in your hand from someone that you like or love. Their choice of paper and card say something about their mood or personality. Their handwriting tells you that they value you (and your gift) enough to take a few moments out of their day - longer than it takes to type out an email - to tell you so. They bought a stamp and took it to the post office - or at least lifted the flag on their mailbox. It shows determination and purpose.

So that's it: my exhortation for you to buy some pretty cards and write out your gratitude in ink. Hope your holidays were merry and bright. Dylan picked some thank you cards with a goldfish and googly eyes; Riley's have blueprints of a robot on them. Now I just need to find some cards for myself. I'm thinking about something pink and sparkly.

Stepping into History

How often do you get to wander back into history, nibble on historic recipes and holiday treats, and meet local authors and artists? Well, if you live in Monterey: at least once a year at the State Parks' Christmas in the Adobes event! Last year was the first time we attended and the boys wanted to go again. What a fantastic opportunity for enrichment and family fun.

We saw Riley's classmate Lina perform "chinches" (spelling?), a dance inspired by the squishing and sliding through bed bug juice at the Custom House...

 We ran into Linda Yamane, the Ohlone master basket weaver we met last year, at the Pacific House and she let Dylan try on her goose feather headress...

We ate Scottish oatcakes at California's First Theatre and snagged the recipe...we drank horchata at Casa Serrano...

We met Randall Reinstedt, local historian and prolific author, and the boys picked up two of his books that we didn't already own; Robert McNamara, Riley's mandolin teacher, was performing at the Larkin House; the boys made button yo-yos and devoured gingerbread at the Cooper-Molera Adobe; and we ended the adventure by eating clam chowder overlooking the harbor. 

Amazing evening...but I have to say that my favorite part of the evening was when we were walking back to the car, Dylan asked me, "Mom, what did you learn tonight?" That's how we always end all of our adventures - reflecting on something that was new to us - but it was first time that he initiated the conversation.

I learned that the First Theatre was originally a boarding house. The docent there explained to us how hinged clapboards swung down from the ceiling to create individual rooms and the poorer guests climbed the ladder-stairs to the top floor where they could stay (and eat in the morning) for twenty-five cents. The boys are excited to attend a performance there when they reopen in 5 years. Me, too!

THE Talk

**Warning: this post is not for the squeamish, or for the mother who is still in denial that her kids will ever have sex.**

You know the talk to which I'm referring, right? THE talk. My boys are ten-and-a-half and almost nine. So, I have had nearly a decade to mentally prepare myself for this. Looking back on my own adolescence, I wasn’t even interested in boys until at least thirteen and I didn't start my period until I was fifteen. I figured that I still had time. I mean, they both just wrote letters to Santa Claus!

And though their classmates are outpacing them as far as exposure to sex - via movies and television -, I fear that my boys' curiosity will soon surface and I would rather that they get the info from me and my husband. Besides, I've heard buzzings that this is the year - 5th grade - that they get some kind of sex ed in school. And once Riley knows something, Dylan knows it.

We've had cursory discussions about puberty. The boys started doing laundry this year and asked my husband "why does mommy bleed in her panties?" I actually scheduled my kid to go the doctor because he was concerned that one testicle was larger than the other. Turns out we cancelled the appointment, after three pairs of testicles were whipped out of boxer shorts in my living room and the guys to whom they were attached discussed what is normal. I wanted to scream, "Why am I here?Am I really necessary for this conversation?!?"

Not too long ago, Dylan said this and I happily chuckled to myself and sighed with relief: "I already know where babies come from. The daddies give the mommies the parts. And the mommies do all the work of making the baby." Yes! I don't think that my husband was wholly amused, but he seemed relieved, too, that we had staved off another brush with The Talk.

When we had our friends' girls with us for Spring Break, I hastily typed out an email saying that if their kids came home talking about eggs and sperm it was because we were watching a documentary about spawning salmon. Thankfully, none of the kids made the mental leap from salmon eggs and sperm to human eggs and sperm. That would have sent me over the edge that week.

I am not ready for The Talk. I’m just not. I think I'm okay with a discussion of the mechanics - maybe - and the anatomy. I just don't know how to discuss the intentions and the ramifications. I remember my mom saying that sex was something that happens between two married people - in a bed. True. But that seems needlessly old-fashioned and prudish. I mean, let's be honest, Jake and I weren't married when we started having sex and we don't always have sex in a bed.

Right now the boys equate sex with mating. Sex is to make babies. I'm okay with that. The fact that sex is recreational and enjoyable...well, I'm okay with that, too, on a personal level but - as a mother - not so much. I have, so far, cowered away from this topic and would prefer to sequester the boys in a closet somewhere until they graduate from college, but I know this is unrealistic.

One of my best friends' six-year-old asked her about sex last week. She fumbled and ended up asking him, "Have you ever watched the nature channel?" Then she came in to work and asked me if she could borrow  my nature channel documentaries on DVD. And in the face of her horror, we all laughed. All of us. Her husband. My husband. Even me. But I stopped laughing when I recognized that her kid is the little kid in our gang; my boys are older than he is. It might be time.

I am fully cognizant that not talking about it would be worse than talking about it. So, I'll squirm on the couch next to my husband while broaching the subject which is vastly preferable to sitting on the couch next to my husband, learning that one of our boys has an STD or is going to be a father, right?!?

Yes, it is our responsibility, as the parents, to teach them about safe sex. I don’t want them to have sex. I don’t even really want them to even know what sex is. But they will know and they will have sex. Ugh. There, I said it. My boys will have sex...likely within this next decade. I much prefer to have The Talk now when I am not ready, than later when I am still not ready and there are already ramifications.

My hope is that my boys will leave the conversation, set aside their mortification and embarrassment, and take some time to think it through. I also hope that they choose to wait a long, long, long, long time until engaging in sexual activity. But I will sleep better knowing that I have done all I can as a parent and if they do choose not to wait, at least they are educated and will know how to protect themselves.

That aside, maybe it's not too late to embrace my Catholic roots. Then I can morally guilt them into never having sex. Or scare them. Anyone have any horror stories? Or chastity belts?!? 

A Pot of Wishes

Classroom birthday and holiday gifts for teachers are always a dilemma. Are they for you? It requires an idea, some volunteer parents to implement, and - the most challenging - asking and getting parent contributions if the gift requires money. Yes, there are gifts that don't! But for a rock star teacher, book devourer, potter, and avid SCUBA diver who is beloved by both his students and the parents...our solution was this...

They had just finished reading A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park. Set in Korea this Newbery Medal-winning book follows Tree-ear, an orphan, who lives under a bridge in Ch’ulp’o, a potters' village famed for delicate celadon ware.

So I found a celadon pot by Liz at SkyBird Arts Pottery; it was even more beautiful in person than on her online store. And we had the kids each write a wish for their teacher to create a pot of wishes. Riley folded and stuffed to fit them all in there and I wrapped it up with a bow.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend the birthday brunch and gift giving, but I hear it was a hit. Happy birthday, Tod!

Lending a Helping Hand

This morning Riley went with Nonno to help pack bags of food at The Food Bank. Jake and I think that teaching the boys to lend a helping hand to people needier than we are is a very important lesson. But we don't always have time to teach that lesson. Thankfully, we have other adults in our boys' lives who do have time...and energy.

Riley said that they worked in an assembly line. One thing he learned: "when they give you a break, you should take it." Apparently, he was offered a break and he kept working. Then he didn't get another offer and he was tired. Nonno rewarded him a lunch at In'N'Out! Thank, Nonno.

Making Readers...and Writers

How do you grow avid readers and aspiring writers? Take them to really cool events with local authors. Tonight the boys' school hosted an All Star Reading Night where they invited six local authors to come, read from their books, talk about what inspires them, and sign books to newly won fans. We, naturally, walked out with an armload full of new books. Riley was quite taken with Belle Yang and had her sign his copy of Forget Sorrow.



Laura Joy Rennert read from her book "Royal Princess Academy, Dragon Dreams", illustrated by French artist Melanie Florian.







Murlie Hanson is a recognized award-winning author who promotes education and creative thinking. She has lived in Norway, Bolivia, and in both the least and most populated states in America. She has been a Fulbright Scholar, a reporter, a columnist, and wrote a legal rights handbook for the disabled. She practices trust law in California and is writing a legal fiction novel. Winner of the MOM'S CHOICE AWARDS GOLD MEDAL for Excellence in Children's Picture Books.


Anne Ylvisaker is the author of the middle grade novels Button Down, The Luck of the Buttons, Little Klein, and Dear Papa, all from Candlewick Press, as well as an award winning board book, and nineteen nonfiction books for young readers. In 2005 Anne was awarded the McKnight Artist Fellowship/Loft Award in Children’s Literature. She incorporates old family photos into her books. 

And, lastly, Brad Herzog and Luke Herzog read to the group. Dylan waited in line to get a copy of Luke's Dragon Valley.



What an amazing evening!

School Portraits

We are not a family who sits for portraits. Ask any of our relatives who came to our wedding; we didn't even pose for family wedding photos. I may regret that down the line, but it's not the look I like. And I was a stubborn 20something at the time. Now I'm a stubborn 30something...almost 40. I still prefer candid shots or, if they are posed, they better be fun! Like this class photo from Dylan's class...

But there's something about school photos. That shocking growth from year to year. So, happily, I pay for the school portraits. Besides the photographers are good friends of ours and I try to support any of our friends who own their own businesses.

Here are my [huge] 3rd and 5th graders. How did this happen so fast?!?

Ocean Frontiers Premiere

One of the best things about living here: the ocean. And it's absolutely our responsibility to do what we can to preserve it for generations to come. So, whenever we have a chance to bring the boys to an event that teaches about ocean conservation, we take it!

We crowded into the historic Golden State Theatre for the Monterey premiere of the film Ocean Frontiers, watched the movie, then listened to the panel discussion - with Karen Anspacher-Meyer, the filmmaker; Greg Young, local fisherman and coordinator for Local Catch Monterey, a community supported fishery; Jeanine Chicourrat, general manager of Portola Plaza Hotel, a LEED-certified hotel; Kris Beal, Director of the Central Coast Vineyard Team who has spearheaded the SIP (Sustainability in Practice) certification for local vintners; and Dr. Steve Webster, co-founder and retired director of the Monterey Bay Aquarium - about how ocean sustainability must be a collaborative effort across all their industries...and what they are doing to make a difference.

Then we strolled to the Museum of Monterey for a reception featuring some of Local Catch's recent catches and great SIP-certified Monterey County wines.

As always, I ask that the boys share with me something that they learned. Here's what they said...

Riley: I learned how phosphorus and nitrogen go down the Mississippi River and flow all the way to the Gulf of Mexico and create dead zones. Farmers in Iowa are helping by using less fertilizer and they are making wetlands that clean up the phosphorus and nitrogen before the water hits the river.

Dylan: I learned that scientists use suction cups to tag the Northern Right whales near Boston. From the tags, they can learn about its motion, where it feeds, and, then, they can work with the ship captains to not sail where the whales are. And when the tag comes off, it has a tracking device so the scientists can pick it up.

Check out Ocean Frontiers: on facebook, on twitter, or view the trailer and website here. It's worth your time.

"I don't make suman!"

I have a funny story that will go miles in explaining why I do not totally embrace my Filipino culture: I get it from my mom.

When I picked up the boys from my parents' house yesterday, we were talking about what I was making and bringing to the Fall Around the World Festival. Here's how the conversation went...

"I have banana leaves to wrap the suman."

Real banana leaves?

"Well, they're frozen, but, yes, they're real."

Green banana leaves?!?

"Yes! What do you wrap suman in?"

I don't make suman.

A Hunt for Red Pants

Tomorrow is the Fall Festival for which we're toting in samples of at least three Filipino dishes, bamboo sticks, a sungka board and 70 little glass beads - plus extras in case curious, eager fingers walk away with a few - a Filipino story book, a cookbook, and whatever else the boys dream up before tomorrow afternoon.









I had thought that we would be going in barong tagalogs, etc., but Riley has other ideas. So, tonight, we'll be hunting high and low for red pants.

"Mom, remember the dance troupe from the Philippines where the dance originated? They wore red pants. I need to find red pants."

Alrighty then. Tonight: a hunt for red pants!

It Came on the Boat

While Riley is going to teach people how to do the tinikling at the Fall Festival, Dylan wanted to be in charge of teaching people how to play sungka.

Sungka is the Filipino version of mancala. In Java it's Dakon, Chonka in Sri Lanka, and Naranj in the Maldives. Same idea: rocks or shells and holes. I guess its simplicity makes it something that people all around the world would have been able to easily create and play.

The great thing about this game is that it's actually a board from the Philippines. Nonna carried it with her when she came to this country on a boat.

Traditionally it's played with cowry shells. We decided to use glass beads.

Filipino by Marriage

When Dylan, Riley, and I had - largely - mastered the tinikling, Riley announced, "Daddy, time for you to learn. You are Filipino by marriage, you know." Jake dutifully shut down his computer, came over to the living room, and looked dubiously at the sticks on the ground.

I don't know why I'm so scared of those sticks, but I am!

But he finally got the hang of it and was tiniklinging with the rest of us Filipinos! One hundred percent participation from the Mann Clan. Love it! Next up...sungka.

The Sting of Bamboo

It all started with a challenge for the boys' school Fall Festival and a trip to the Filipino store. Then we stopped at the craft store to get cardstock and Riley found some bamboo sticks. "Mom," he gushed, excitedly, "I want to learn how to do the tinikling. Can we get these for the Festival?" Ummm...

As always, if my kids want to learn something, I support it. So, the sticks went into the shopping cart. And when we got home, he logged into YouTube and found different clips of actual Filipino people doing the dance. There were some that were incredibly complex; I told him to stick to the basics.

After a little while, he handed me this... In case you can't tell what it is, it's a foot diagram of where I'm supposed to put my feet so they don't get smacked by the bamboo. Yeah, right. I can't read that!

Then he demonstrated the steps with stationary sticks...

Then he showed us the rhythm of the sticks...without any dancers...

Dylan practiced, under Riley's watchful eye...

And, then, we had some fun with it. The funniest thing ever: Riley, declared, as I danced between the sticks, avoided the sting of the bamboo, and swirled my dress around as I moved, "Mom, you really are Filipino!"

I think we're just about ready for next weekend. Stay tuned.

Christmas Card Evolution

Here's the evolution of Christmas cards in our family: When Jake and I were dating I used to handwrite cards and include a printed newsletter of all of our adventures for the year. As a double-income couple with no real bills, our adventures were fantastic.

After we married, most of our expendable income was put into our home rennovation, so I still handwrote the cards and included a printed newsletter about our projects.

When we had our first son, I think all I managed was a newsletter with printed labels on the envelope. Then we had our second son, a mere eighteen months later, and life has never been the same since; because Dylan was born two days before Christmas, I don't think I even managed to get anything out. I think I sent out Valentines' Day cards that year.

Somewhere along the line I moved to emailing our Christmas letters. This year, I will still email the holiday newsletters, but I decided to create cards for mailing as well. I turned to shutterfly.com and couldn't be happier. It was so easy. A few clicks here, a few clicks there. And - like magic - our Christmas cards are on their way.

Yes, I know it's not even October, but I am, after all, a serial planner.

A funny story about a few of these pictures: We were out at our favorite hiking spot and Jake said, "Should we take our Christmas card pictures today? It's a beautiful day." True, but I hadn't planned on it and we were all in clashing colors. My solution: turn everything black and white! Done deal, baby.

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

Dylan's Responsibilities

Dylan's first project of the year involves discovering his learning style and exploring his responsibilities - to his family, to his school, to his community, and to his world.

And because he's the second child, he - for the most part - fends for himself. Sad, but true. Parents can say that they treat their kids the same. They're lying...or they are super-heroes that have my complete and utter admiration.

So, I didn't take a look at his planning sheet until he was all done. I have to admit, my heart swelled with pride, when I read what he had written. For his responsibilities to his community...

• CSA box
• beach clean up
• support local parks

I love that he sees these as his responsibility to his community! Hopefully that means that he'll walk the walk, even when he's away from our watchful eyes.

Who is Riley?

Riley's first (six-week) unit in school explores culture. They began by answering the question: Who am I? And they answered that question by creating and decorating a plaster mask. The kids helped each other make a plaster mold of each student's face. Then they planned and executed a plan to answer...

 

What kind of person are you (public and private side)?
How are you smart?
What you love to do?
Your family, home, and culture
Your hopes/dreams for the future

 

Riley turned this in today. Here's his public side...with a propellor, some redwood needles, a eucalyptus leaf, an eagle, a jack, a testtube, a mandolin. What else is on here? And what does that all mean?!? I asked him if I could read what he wrote about those things; he told me, "I didn't write anything, Mom. We just have to present it to the class. We don't have to write an essay about it!" Okay. Fine.

 

And here's the private side...a darker green. I see mountain peaks. I see a book. I see musical notes. I see random letters that I am certain are not random. Interesting.

Here's a photo that his teacher posted from the in-class presentation. I still have no idea what he said, but he reported that all went well.

 

Photo by TSpedding 

Work Hard, Splash Hard

We have always made a point of working hard and playing hard. The boys know that if they buckle down, finish their school work, and do their household chores (which is really just keeping their own room clean and doing their laundry), we'll head out and do something fun. This weekend was no exception - we had to head up to Santa Cruz where I had a freelance assignment...then we went to the community pool for Riley's class swim party.

I've already mentioned how impressive our teachers are. But, once again, they went above and beyond and upped the fun factor at the pool with an underwater camera! Here are my mer-Manns...

photo by TSpedding

photo by TSpedding

Thanks for the great afternoon!

Trusting Riley's Eye

When we were at my grandfather's funeral last week, Riley asked me if he could have the camera. Dylan was about the receive the flag that had been draped over the casket and I knew the photos that I wanted to take. Only having brought one camera, I knew that if he didn't take the photos I wanted, I wouldn't get a second chance. But I took a deep breath, removed the strap from my neck, and handed over the camera. More deep breaths.

I didn't look at the photos for a few hours, but I was blown away by his composition and realized that he captured exactly what I wanted! From now on I'll trust his eye.

The Boy Apong

'Apong', in Ilocano, means great-grandparent. It's the same for males and females, so the boys differentiated between my grandparents by calling them "the girl apong" and "the boy apong."

Tonight, the boy apong, my last surviving grandparent and the boys' last great-grandparent on my side died at the age of 92. When I told the boys, they both started to cry. Then, Riley giggled. I looked at him and asked, "what's funny?" He giggled again and said, "He lived longer than the doctors said he would." True. My grandfather was a survivor. He perservered as a prisoner of war. He survived the Bataan Death March. He raised seven children; he had fourteen grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. He enjoyed a long life. But that didn't stop the tears tonight as the boys mourned "the boy apong."

I am sad for my dad. For his siblings. However, I am grateful for the time that my boys were able to know their great-grandfather.

Sharing Books

Last night the 5th grade teachers sent out the book list for the novels they will be reading throughout their different units of studying. I'm not a big novel gal; food histories and non-fiction are my tomes of choice, as you could see if you looked at my book-laden nightstand. But I was intrigued by some of the titles the teachers have selected. I ordered the books so that Riley can take notes in the margins...but also, selfishly, so that I can read them as well.

The Master Puppeteer

by Katherine Paterson

A Single Shard

by Linda Sue Park

Two Old Women: An Alaska Legend of Betrayal, Courage, and Survival

by Velma Wallis

Morning Girl

by Michael Dorris

The Captain's Dog: My Journey with the Lewis & Clark Tribe

by Roland Smith

Flush

by Carl Hiaasen

Maniac Magee

by Jerry Spinelli

Now Riley and I wear the same shoe size and...will be sharing some books. That makes me both excited and wistful.

A Spaghetti-Marshmallow Challenge

Riley has only been in 5th grade for three days and already I am smitten with the teaching team and their über-cool homework projects. Last night one of his optional assignments was to recreate their Spaghetti-Marshmallow Challenge at home with their families. Build something? With food??! Oh, yeah. That was a must, though I didn't have any "real marshmallows." I had homemade - square - agave syrup marshmallows that Riley scoffed at. "Mom, those are perfect for hot chocolate, but not my project." Fine. So, off I went to Safeway with an hour before bedtime...to get "marshmallows that other people have in their homes."

The challenge: use 20 spaghetti noodles, 1 meter of tape, 1 meter of string and - in 30 minutes - build the tallest structure you can that will support the weight of a marshmallow.

Riley and I both went for a tripod method, though I reinforced the frame by utilizing multiple noodles in each leg. Dylan started off with a four-pronged base. And Jake went for a helix-style structure.

In a house full of LEGO-crazed boys and a truly handy husband, I am thrilled to say that my structure won. I built a tower that was 28-1/2" tall. Both Riley and Jake's were 28". So I just barely squeaked past them with half an inch, but I'll take the victory. Girl power! Dylan participated but really was only interested in eating the marshmallow afterwards.

Looking forward to lots more learning and fun!

*UPDATE*
Whoops! After watching this, Jake said, "the exercise is about cooperation and teamwork more then building a marshmallow and spaghetti hut." Cooperation and teamwork? Team Mann?!? Ha! We don't do teamwork. Maybe that's something to work on this year.