NYE: Hole Up, Giggle, and Cuddle with Your Kids

A blogger that I follow posted a link to an article about the babysitter wars. Click to read it or trust my synopsis: babysitters expect to get paid more on New Year's Eve - sometimes twice their usual rate - and people actually poach sitters from friends or pick up random sitters at the mall. The piece goes on to offer helpful hints for procuring sitters for new years, including sharing a sitter, hosting the party at your house, or just resigning yourself to paying through the nose. Really?!?

Okay, I'm on my soapbox here. But I have a suggestion.

If you are a parent, seriously consider 

spending New Year's Eve with who should be 

the most important people to you. 

Your spouse. And your kids. 

New Year's Eve is a celebration of the year that's passed - all the challenges and triumphs; it's a time to reflect. Midnight is the beginning of a new year, a fresh start. Why would you spend that away from your family? I like drinking wine and noshing on appetizers with my friends as much as anyone else, but that can happen on any of the other 364 nights of the year. That can happen on my birthday, my husband's birthday, our friends' birthdays. Heck, I don't even need a reason to meet a friend for a drink or eats. But, for me, ringing in the new year is something intimate. It's a time to hole up, giggle, cuddle, and remember why you start and end each day with these people. They're yours.

Click here for what we did last year. Family fun-shenanigans with some traditions from around the world.

This year, we'll be listening to some taiko drums downtown in the afternoon, dining at a favorite restaurant, heading home for some internationally-inspired New Year's desserts, playing board games, toasting with bubbles, and smooching as the clock strikes twelve.

This was our toast from last year. We all made it to midnight. We'll be there again in a few days. Same couch. Same time.

The Blog Dare: I Urge You to...

"I Urge You to..." so reads the Blog Dare writing prompt for today, Wednesday, December 26th. Never having participated in this venture before, I'm not even sure that I'm doing this correctly. But I really like these seeds of inspiration and decided to give it a whirl today.

I urge you to...handwrite your thank you notes this year.

Why? For me, there are a few reasons.

(1) Because I force my kids to do it. They may pace themselves (3 per day or 4 per day) until they get them all written, but they do it. I should lead by example, right? Yes.

(2) Because eThanks get buried in a glut of post-holiday sale emails. Do you get emails from every vendor you've ever ordered from, reminding you of the great sales they have going this week? I sure do - from Office Depot to Lands End. It's far too easy to accidentally select and delete an actual email that you want to read at this time of year. Whoops.

(3) Because there's something wonderful about a piece of paper in your hand from someone that you like or love. Their choice of paper and card say something about their mood or personality. Their handwriting tells you that they value you (and your gift) enough to take a few moments out of their day - longer than it takes to type out an email - to tell you so. They bought a stamp and took it to the post office - or at least lifted the flag on their mailbox. It shows determination and purpose.

So that's it: my exhortation for you to buy some pretty cards and write out your gratitude in ink. Hope your holidays were merry and bright. Dylan picked some thank you cards with a goldfish and googly eyes; Riley's have blueprints of a robot on them. Now I just need to find some cards for myself. I'm thinking about something pink and sparkly.

Stepping into History

How often do you get to wander back into history, nibble on historic recipes and holiday treats, and meet local authors and artists? Well, if you live in Monterey: at least once a year at the State Parks' Christmas in the Adobes event! Last year was the first time we attended and the boys wanted to go again. What a fantastic opportunity for enrichment and family fun.

We saw Riley's classmate Lina perform "chinches" (spelling?), a dance inspired by the squishing and sliding through bed bug juice at the Custom House...

 We ran into Linda Yamane, the Ohlone master basket weaver we met last year, at the Pacific House and she let Dylan try on her goose feather headress...

We ate Scottish oatcakes at California's First Theatre and snagged the recipe...we drank horchata at Casa Serrano...

We met Randall Reinstedt, local historian and prolific author, and the boys picked up two of his books that we didn't already own; Robert McNamara, Riley's mandolin teacher, was performing at the Larkin House; the boys made button yo-yos and devoured gingerbread at the Cooper-Molera Adobe; and we ended the adventure by eating clam chowder overlooking the harbor. 

Amazing evening...but I have to say that my favorite part of the evening was when we were walking back to the car, Dylan asked me, "Mom, what did you learn tonight?" That's how we always end all of our adventures - reflecting on something that was new to us - but it was first time that he initiated the conversation.

I learned that the First Theatre was originally a boarding house. The docent there explained to us how hinged clapboards swung down from the ceiling to create individual rooms and the poorer guests climbed the ladder-stairs to the top floor where they could stay (and eat in the morning) for twenty-five cents. The boys are excited to attend a performance there when they reopen in 5 years. Me, too!

THE Talk

**Warning: this post is not for the squeamish, or for the mother who is still in denial that her kids will ever have sex.**

You know the talk to which I'm referring, right? THE talk. My boys are ten-and-a-half and almost nine. So, I have had nearly a decade to mentally prepare myself for this. Looking back on my own adolescence, I wasn’t even interested in boys until at least thirteen and I didn't start my period until I was fifteen. I figured that I still had time. I mean, they both just wrote letters to Santa Claus!

And though their classmates are outpacing them as far as exposure to sex - via movies and television -, I fear that my boys' curiosity will soon surface and I would rather that they get the info from me and my husband. Besides, I've heard buzzings that this is the year - 5th grade - that they get some kind of sex ed in school. And once Riley knows something, Dylan knows it.

We've had cursory discussions about puberty. The boys started doing laundry this year and asked my husband "why does mommy bleed in her panties?" I actually scheduled my kid to go the doctor because he was concerned that one testicle was larger than the other. Turns out we cancelled the appointment, after three pairs of testicles were whipped out of boxer shorts in my living room and the guys to whom they were attached discussed what is normal. I wanted to scream, "Why am I here?Am I really necessary for this conversation?!?"

Not too long ago, Dylan said this and I happily chuckled to myself and sighed with relief: "I already know where babies come from. The daddies give the mommies the parts. And the mommies do all the work of making the baby." Yes! I don't think that my husband was wholly amused, but he seemed relieved, too, that we had staved off another brush with The Talk.

When we had our friends' girls with us for Spring Break, I hastily typed out an email saying that if their kids came home talking about eggs and sperm it was because we were watching a documentary about spawning salmon. Thankfully, none of the kids made the mental leap from salmon eggs and sperm to human eggs and sperm. That would have sent me over the edge that week.

I am not ready for The Talk. I’m just not. I think I'm okay with a discussion of the mechanics - maybe - and the anatomy. I just don't know how to discuss the intentions and the ramifications. I remember my mom saying that sex was something that happens between two married people - in a bed. True. But that seems needlessly old-fashioned and prudish. I mean, let's be honest, Jake and I weren't married when we started having sex and we don't always have sex in a bed.

Right now the boys equate sex with mating. Sex is to make babies. I'm okay with that. The fact that sex is recreational and enjoyable...well, I'm okay with that, too, on a personal level but - as a mother - not so much. I have, so far, cowered away from this topic and would prefer to sequester the boys in a closet somewhere until they graduate from college, but I know this is unrealistic.

One of my best friends' six-year-old asked her about sex last week. She fumbled and ended up asking him, "Have you ever watched the nature channel?" Then she came in to work and asked me if she could borrow  my nature channel documentaries on DVD. And in the face of her horror, we all laughed. All of us. Her husband. My husband. Even me. But I stopped laughing when I recognized that her kid is the little kid in our gang; my boys are older than he is. It might be time.

I am fully cognizant that not talking about it would be worse than talking about it. So, I'll squirm on the couch next to my husband while broaching the subject which is vastly preferable to sitting on the couch next to my husband, learning that one of our boys has an STD or is going to be a father, right?!?

Yes, it is our responsibility, as the parents, to teach them about safe sex. I don’t want them to have sex. I don’t even really want them to even know what sex is. But they will know and they will have sex. Ugh. There, I said it. My boys will have sex...likely within this next decade. I much prefer to have The Talk now when I am not ready, than later when I am still not ready and there are already ramifications.

My hope is that my boys will leave the conversation, set aside their mortification and embarrassment, and take some time to think it through. I also hope that they choose to wait a long, long, long, long time until engaging in sexual activity. But I will sleep better knowing that I have done all I can as a parent and if they do choose not to wait, at least they are educated and will know how to protect themselves.

That aside, maybe it's not too late to embrace my Catholic roots. Then I can morally guilt them into never having sex. Or scare them. Anyone have any horror stories? Or chastity belts?!? 

A Pot of Wishes

Classroom birthday and holiday gifts for teachers are always a dilemma. Are they for you? It requires an idea, some volunteer parents to implement, and - the most challenging - asking and getting parent contributions if the gift requires money. Yes, there are gifts that don't! But for a rock star teacher, book devourer, potter, and avid SCUBA diver who is beloved by both his students and the parents...our solution was this...

They had just finished reading A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park. Set in Korea this Newbery Medal-winning book follows Tree-ear, an orphan, who lives under a bridge in Ch’ulp’o, a potters' village famed for delicate celadon ware.

So I found a celadon pot by Liz at SkyBird Arts Pottery; it was even more beautiful in person than on her online store. And we had the kids each write a wish for their teacher to create a pot of wishes. Riley folded and stuffed to fit them all in there and I wrapped it up with a bow.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend the birthday brunch and gift giving, but I hear it was a hit. Happy birthday, Tod!

Lending a Helping Hand

This morning Riley went with Nonno to help pack bags of food at The Food Bank. Jake and I think that teaching the boys to lend a helping hand to people needier than we are is a very important lesson. But we don't always have time to teach that lesson. Thankfully, we have other adults in our boys' lives who do have time...and energy.

Riley said that they worked in an assembly line. One thing he learned: "when they give you a break, you should take it." Apparently, he was offered a break and he kept working. Then he didn't get another offer and he was tired. Nonno rewarded him a lunch at In'N'Out! Thank, Nonno.

Making Readers...and Writers

How do you grow avid readers and aspiring writers? Take them to really cool events with local authors. Tonight the boys' school hosted an All Star Reading Night where they invited six local authors to come, read from their books, talk about what inspires them, and sign books to newly won fans. We, naturally, walked out with an armload full of new books. Riley was quite taken with Belle Yang and had her sign his copy of Forget Sorrow.



Laura Joy Rennert read from her book "Royal Princess Academy, Dragon Dreams", illustrated by French artist Melanie Florian.







Murlie Hanson is a recognized award-winning author who promotes education and creative thinking. She has lived in Norway, Bolivia, and in both the least and most populated states in America. She has been a Fulbright Scholar, a reporter, a columnist, and wrote a legal rights handbook for the disabled. She practices trust law in California and is writing a legal fiction novel. Winner of the MOM'S CHOICE AWARDS GOLD MEDAL for Excellence in Children's Picture Books.


Anne Ylvisaker is the author of the middle grade novels Button Down, The Luck of the Buttons, Little Klein, and Dear Papa, all from Candlewick Press, as well as an award winning board book, and nineteen nonfiction books for young readers. In 2005 Anne was awarded the McKnight Artist Fellowship/Loft Award in Children’s Literature. She incorporates old family photos into her books. 

And, lastly, Brad Herzog and Luke Herzog read to the group. Dylan waited in line to get a copy of Luke's Dragon Valley.



What an amazing evening!