They Are Not Twins

"No, they aren't twins; they are 18-months apart." I can't count the number of times I've said those sentences. And they were, typically, followed by: "No, we didn't plan it that way."

There was a time when I wanted to snap at people who assumed the boys were twins. "Can't you tell they aren't twins?!? They are two different sizes for crying outloud." Of course this was all masked with a smile followed by the conversation recounted in paragraph number one.

On rare occasions I dressed them alike. For example in this photograph [above]. I think we wore those matching shirts for two different weddings that summer. I did, however, dress them in the same color; one might have been wearing a plain red shirt while the other had a red and blue striped shirt. And - in those truly sleep-deprived years - I wore the same color myself. So, when we were out in the park, I could look down and realize, "Okay, we're all in lime green today." Yes, it sounds silly now, but it worked!

All of this is to say that I know my boys aren't twins. I suppose I deserved the look of incredulity that I received this weekend when I said to Jake, "I guess I should really start letting the boys decide what enrichment activities they want to do...and they don't have to be the same things." My husband politely picked his jaw up off the ground and said, "That's probably a good idea." Unspoken was: you're a smart woman, but sometimes you can be really, really dense. I can't believe you just realized that now. Duh.

Hey, now, I'm an only child. I've never had to deal with sibling stuff! And, from a parent's perspective, it's easier to have them in the same activities. But after soccer season last year, it became apparent that Riley was not going to follow in my footsteps of loving the sport. And Dylan, though very interested in music, clearly isn't equipped with perfect-pitch the way that Riley is.

So, I'm on a quest to embrace their individuality and let them decide what to do...after this summer, that is. I had already paid for golf lessons and geology camp for both of them before having my little parental epiphany. But, starting in the Fall, Riley will continue with his mandolin lessons; we think Dylan will want to return to Tang Soo Do. In addition to getting out some of his boundless energy, we think he'll learn discipline and that there is a time and place for rough-housing and it is on the mat at the studio, not with your mom while she's trying to cook.

Now I didn't say I wasn't going to influence the direction this takes or have an ulterior motive in what enrichment activities I offer as options. I'm just not going to require that we are always in the same place at the same time!